Emptiness

Long ago whispers

taunt me,

their soft echoes

fall just beyond

my reach,

as if our past

exists

in the next room;

I dread silence

like death,

while humming

everyday life

holds back the whispers

and memories,

keeping my heart safe

from you;

day or night,

I languish

with emptiness

swirling within

like a tornado

raging,

eroding my landscape,

my windswept desert;

destitution reigns,

the ghostly whispers

feathering,

caressing

my sanity,

always in the past,

always just beyond,

as my path unfurls

always forward.

© ACG

16 December 2010



Midnight

Swirling chaos blending

dreams and mysteries,

echoes of lost moments

and forgotten memories;

twinkling stars glisten

like diamonds

in a midnight-blue

sapphire sky.

© ACG

15 December 2010

December First

Falling silently

through the gray dawn

like a child’s butterfly kisses,

the first snowfall comes

dancing snowflakes swirling

in twirling tango

softly sinking into the Earth

as if soothing the world’s woes;

an illusion of beauty

masking Winter’s caress.

© ACG

01 December 2010

Mixed Metaphors

The lead weight of love’s double-edged sword
make fast the ties that bind
tugging at my heartstrings
paralyzing a lifelong desire for solitude

as deadening as nails in a coffin
suffocating the impulse

to drive on

down the outstretched

intoxicating never-ending

ribbon of road

leading to the paradise of nothingness

extending like an unfurled magic carpet

always before me.

© ACG

28 November 2010

Sinking

The cold seeps in,

the gray dankness

of Winter’s first breath

fogs my world.

From within I feel

the same chill coming.

© ACG

20 November 2010

Pallas and Phoebus

Those two eternal siblings,

strong and bright

through the ages ~

complementing and conflicting;

one with stoic wisdom flashing,

leading ever forward,

her beauty disarms;

one with magnetism gleaming,

impetuosity tempered

by white-hot charms.

She sprang, fully-formed,

armed and absolute,

as if from me alone,

as if her shield read:

~ non requiritur pater ~

fiercely independent,

my green-eyed Aly,

a Palys golden-haired

goddess of wisdom and battle,

she glides with ease

and gentle step

~ her warrior’s heart ever alert ~

silently making her way

along her chosen path.

Sunlight bright, this boy

rises dynamic born,

righteous reflections

~ Just John ~

an undeniable enveloping,

irresistible grin

drawing you in,

with empathy renown,

he generously shines,

as Phoebus’ chariot

brought light and warmth

through the cold morning sky;

conquering darkness is his destiny.

© ACG

15 November 2010

River

The force that endured,

that raged,

that cut through

and created

the Grand Canyon

is hard to visualize.

Her eyes were a river’s ribbon

of steely blue

raging

and cutting through

five hundred years

of brown-eyed Turkish domination,

somehow enduring

to flow into my veins.

“Luba” ~

the Macedonian word

for love ~

in any language:

complicated.

I loved her sweet smile,

her crocheted treasures,

Christmas cookies

like no others,

the twinkle in her eye;

yet never did she let me in,

her magic and her mystery

were her own,

I could see

that all her love and loyalty

rested only with her son

not her daughters

(one, my mother):

I did not like him.

Strange accent and strange beliefs;

her past distorted

and unknown to me,

her perspective

from another time and place,

my love was tinged by distance

that I could not cross;

never as close to her

as to my other grandmother,

whose sweet sad elegance

seemed more familiar.

Her complications conspired

to preserve the reserve

from which she saw the world;

it rarely cracked.

I could not see

her protective wall

for what it was;

her strength escaped me,

only later would I see it,

could I know it,

long after she was gone,

and my own steely-eyed children

chose their middle names

Luba and Alexander ~

their homage

to a Macedonian past,

and her.

I can see her reserve

in their eyes;

I know now,

finally

what she saw,

understanding

what lay behind

her laughter ~

it had its own accent,

an echo down through time,

that mirrored the twinkle

in her ice-blue eyes ~

like a river,

raging,

cutting,

like a secret flash,

enduring wisdom,

a knowing unshared

like the never-revealed

ingredient in a recipe ~

her secret,

she alone

knew the punchline.

“I survived.”

© ACG

13 November 2010

The Wall

She stands alone;

she feels weak,

a coward with her back

against a wall;

pushed there time and again

by the demands of others

and her own fierce loyalty

to those she loves.

What she cannot see

is that the wall

shelters and protects

all of us,

and without her,

we crumble:

her back

holds up

the wall.

© ACG

08 November 2010

~ for my mother

Bitterness

Coming Winter bites

and I recall your kiss;

A searing chill

envelopes memory;

With Winter comes your grasp

tighter still, gripping;

As much as I resist,

Still I call to you.

© ACG

30 October 2010

When the Night Winds Wail

Through the darkest nights

and beyond the brightest days,

there is one constant light

shining oh so far away;

It calls me as I sleep,

it moans across my soul,

it lingers buried deep,

my Love its only goal;

No matter where I turn

I feel your icy breath,

a searing frozen burn

seducing me to death;

The light within your eyes

I never can forsake,

No matter what your lies

my heart is yours to take;

The distant dance of Time

teases our embrace,

like a window sublime

with a wafting veil of lace;

Gazing from my dreams

through that eternal glass,

your drifting Shadow seems

just beyond my grasp;

Forever I am doomed,

nowhere is escape,

each horizon looms,

a darkly crushing weight.

© ACG 2010

29 October 2010

September Sea

My escape is blocked by the waves' icy thrust,

the cold hard sand stiffens underfoot,

and the morning mist freezes in my throat;

My boat rocks gently first then rolls with wicked intent,

navigating amidst darting rocks is beyond my skill

when the Sea is dark and coldly crashing;

My escape is blocked, so his chokehold lingers,

and I am weary from the fight;

weary with knowing.

© ACG

01 September 2010

August

After the short bright days of Spring,
Midwestern Summer comes on quickly,
with a heavy hand pressing,
determined to prevail, lasting,
beating down, extending;

Hammering thunder grumbles overhead,
lightning skitters downward
in thinly slicing deadly lines,
late Midwestern Summer weather
stifles hauntingly with cruel rapture;

Sun-bright skies reflecting white heat,
blinding, whilst never-ending airless air
drips with moisture unrelieving,
like a solid wall, the last of Summer slams
with its own mystery of possibility;

An impossible reality of misery,
crashing rain pours furiously,
more unwelcome wetness,
sticky, with no refreshment,
simply even less air left behind;

Cycling along, its marathon event,
weeks passing with no remorse,
thundering nights roll into rumbling days,
or stark sun-hot days and still clear nights,
Midwestern Summer’s constant torment;

Into this Hell,
like a Star in the Blackened Night,
like a Light in The Abyss,
like the first Breath of Fall,
like Love in a hate-filled world,
you came.

© ACG
01 August 2010

~ for Aly

Salt

Salty spray misting

breaking across the ship's bow

America looms

© ACG

30 June 2010

~ for Mom

Happy 4th of July

Untitled

flowing into me
oceans of grave disaster
like beautiful Death

 

© ACG

11 May 2010

April Morning Moon

Full gleaming orb
hangs o'er head;
 Moonlight gleaming
drifts o'er head;

E'er Dawn rises
E'er the World stirs,
April Morning Moon
shines o'er head.  

© ACG 01
April 2010

Elephants

From childhood’s Dumbo

and the baby elephant

in The Jungle Book,

then collectibles in

various woods, stones, metals;

carvings with trunks upraised

for Good Luck;

these have comforted me.

Metaphorically,

they’ve crushed me

at times when my chest

feels a pressure,

a crushing wieght

oppressing heart and lungs;

“feels like an elephant sitting on my chest,”

but really now,

poor elephant;

I don’t know how that would feel.

People say,

“the elephant in the room”

referring to that which

cannot be spoken;

when social convention

dictates silence:

awkwardness and discomfort,

don’t confront it,

don’t talk about it;

as if the elephant can be ignored.

I love my little statues,

and my Disney memories;

I dread the pressure of illness,

when breath comes gasping;

these comforts and pains

I have learned to live with;

they are expected.

I loathe the one who lumbered

into our room,

unwelcome and ridiculous,

is he to be supreme?

perhaps

he will prevail

with his destructive rampage,

and I shall leave the room.

© ACG
24 March 2010

Weakness

Loneliness overwhelms

with the pain of gnawing creatures

within;

darkness is everywhere

and a false light beckons

sweetly;

helpless against the tide

of my lonely nights

extending,

that light feels warm

and strong and lovingly

caressing.

No where can I turn,

except into disaster;

I feel my soul surrender

to Evil.

© ACG

17 February 2010

5:00 Blues

Inevitable Time, you Bastard,

my dreadful reality,

approaching,

encroaching,

killing me inside;

Inevitable Time, you Bastard,

the last call made,

then I surrender

as you head home,

to her;

Inevitable Time, you Bastard,

every day at 5,

suffocating my heart

with your dark hours,

long into my sleepless night.

Inevitable Time, you Bastard,

unavoidable,

irrevocable

reminder:

he’s forever hers.

Not mine.

You Bastard.

© ACG

Mardi Gras

Mardi Gras

icy silver rain

Winter’s needles harshly sting

joyous revelry

© ACG

25 January 2010